So Friday was the last episode of Stargate:SG1 ever. I was expecting something a bit more spectacular than what we got. In fact, I was expecting something not lame, but there ya go. There has never been a movie or TV episode with people stuck/marooned for far too long anywhere except a desert island that has ever actually worked. Or been interesting. We watched SG1, and General Landry, grow old on that damned spaceship, until Landry died of old age, and everyone else should have. Please, 50 years and the only things tat changed were their makeup and the fact that Sam learned to play cello. BORING!(sigh) I guess it just proves that once you've jumped the shark, nothing will save you. Still, it was a good run.
(Scroll down for Part 1)
Eureka! I didn't have any Slim Whitman records - I know it worked in Mars Attacks, so I tried the next best thing from our collection: Mario Lanza. OMG, you should have heard the wailing and screaming outside. I think we cleared an entire block before we cranked it up as loud as it would go. Then we cleared the entire neighborhood. The DH is a hero. Their his CD's after all.
So, to all of you who are still fighting, find Slim Whitman or Mario Lanza. I think Yoko Ono works just as well, but I haven't tested it. It's worth a try. Good luck, and good night.
It's starting to get dark now. The news reports say that the zombies have gone on the offensive. Once they got their coffee, they were revved to go. And so are some of the Starbucks employees. We're to watch for anyone with a green apron and a cup of coffee.
I've barricaded the doors and windows, but I don't even own a gun. I've got plenty of lye, though, and that seems to work real good. especially if you knock the coffee cup out of their hands. They hate that.
I've read that the zombies hate certain types of music. I'm going to try everything, especially since the lye will run out at some point. I have a feeling that this night is going to really suck.
Well, it seems some of the zombies are hanging around the Starbuckses. Seems they have the best Wi-fi in the area, and it's the best place for blogging.
Now, I have nothing against zombies per se, as long as they learn English and don't try to eat my brains, but I do think they should be sent back where they came from, dammit! They can blog about zombie rights until they're blue in the face, but it's still an invasion. We need higher walls around our cemeteries, not laws giving zombies the same rights as the living. It's bleeding heart zombie activists like this guy that are going to get us all killed.
Ok, I'll stop ranting. Is that screaming I hear?
Ok, so I've been surfing the blogosphere, and apparently, El Paso isn't the only one with this freaky problem. It's happening in Minneapolis, Boston, and Philadelphia. And we've been lucky. So far, only baristas have been eaten, but I'm hoping this guy and this girl make it out alive. More later.
Update. It's everywhere.
New Zealand,
Washington, D.C.,
New York, and there are pictures from San Francisco
Now I'm really confused. KFOX said something about zombie attacks at Starbucks. Starbucks?!?!? Apparently, they have scattered to all parts of the city which have a Starbucks and are crowding into them, eating the baristas, and stealing coffee. WTF??
The number passing my house has dwindled to a trickle. There are only three Starbucks up beyond my house. I wonder what happens when they're done eating Starbucks employees?
I was going to go out this morning, do some genealogy research up at the Family History Center (the Mormons). I was going to, but then the dogs went nuts when someone walked by the house. Yeah, they go nuts any time someone walks by the house, but this time they barked up a storm, then backed away from the window and went and hid in the back part of the house. I got up to see what on earth could cause them to react that way. At first it just seemed like a group of people walking by and I thought they were part of some health group like the runners we get from time to time. But when I looked closer, I realized that these people were far from healthy: they looked dead. Literally. Dead people are walking past my house as we speak!
Hordes of them, in groups of 6 to 16, ambling past the house down Fiesta St. I backed away from the window at first and wished I had some weapons, but they didn't seem interested in breaking down my door or anything. They were just walking, heading northwest towards... what? I don't know.
Then I got curious and started peering at each of them. These were not freshly dead corpses; these people had been in ground a long time. They wore clothes from the 1960's back to the mid-1800's, not in such nice condition now, but clearly recognizable. I had an idea.
I turned on KFOX and and had my suspicion confirmed. The dead were rising from Concordia cemetery, the oldest cemetery in El Paso, and the only one downtown, located under the highway underpass. There's a genealogist's nightmare on the march. They are walking a long way to make it all the way up to this part of the mountain. And since they don't seem bent on destruction, where the hell are they going?
Mark your blogging calendars. Wednesday, June 13, we'll be Blogging Like It's the End of The World. No, I'm not a HUGE zombie fan, but this just sounds too cool to pass up. Check out the link, or the logo on the sidebar. And if things seem a bit strange here at OOL the 13th, it's because we were attacked by zombie hordes.
I've been gleaning old newspapers for genealogical tidbits - and I have found many good tidbits - and marveling at the news I find therein. Gruesome deaths, freak accidents, and brutal murders appeared on the same pages as notices that the "Misses Myers have returned from visiting friends in Chicago," and that the little daughter of Frank Bond had a birthday party and here is a list of the 5 to 10-year-olds who attended (my grandfather was mentioned in one such as this). But when I ran across this, I had to scratch my head.
Fort Wayne Weekly Gazette, Thursday, May 7, 1896
"Twas Too Fine
The Police Sends a Traveling Show Out of TownA "fine art" show opened up Saturday in the vacant room adjoining the old National Bank, and it had run but a little time until word came to Superintendent Ligget that it was entirely "too fine." He made an investigation and the result was that the outfit was ordered out of town. The proprietor was quite indignant, but he had to go. He claimed that he had showed in Detroit and other large cities, and had never before been molested.
One can only assume that the show contained nudes, but I find the euphemism "too fine" a bit "too cute." I suppose readers of the paper knew exactly what it meant, but I have to wonder if even they thought the phrase was reaching a bit.
(Cross-posted on Ceely's Modern Usage.)