It was hideously unfair: I was denied the 1989 Nobel Prize in Chemistry, even though I demonstrated that all garments can safely be laundered in hot water with liquid chlorine bleach.
Yeah, I was that guy -- and no, I never replicated that experiment. Call it luck.
Seriously: If you know a guy who gets his shirts back from the dry cleaners, and then immediately irons out the remaining wrinkles, chances are your acquaintance is a Marine.
Or, I guess, Monk. But probably a Marine.
The Marines teach you how to care for your uniforms, and part of such care is laundering and pressing individual garments. Much of this is applicable to civilian life. Now, if your "sleeves" largely consist of ink on your arms, and you wear your hat backwards and your pants down by your knees, then this quite possibly won't apply to you. For most grownups, however, it will.
I was taught to press a shirt completely, then press it using steam, and then to add starch and press it again. Or to just put the damn thing in the cleaners', and do some touch-up work when you get it back. There's really no need for this amount of effort or expense, and it doesn't generate anything like an improvement in quality over what I actually did when I was a Marine in the fleet, or over what I do every Sunday to this day.
Put the shirt on the ironing board, either end. The Marine Corps (and my mom) would have you put the shirt on the tapered end. My mother didn't think much of the Marine Corps when they sent me to Beirut, but she did agree with them on how to iron a shirt. However, I don't do it that way. I put it on the square end. It doesn't really make a difference, at least to me. Working from top to bottom, and going around, not over, the buttons, press the major wrinkles and folds out of the shirt.
At this point I sprinkle on some water or steam, then add a touch of spray starch or sizing. Give it a minute or two to begin to dry, then attack it again with the iron. Move the shirt around the ironing board to expose the next un-ironed section of the shirt, and repeat the process.
Need I point out that the parts of the shirt which will be beneath your belt and trousers need not be pressed to the same standard as the upper front portion? Please.
Also, if you're wearing tapered or fitted or otherwise eccentric shirts, you'll have to adjust sections in order to get them all to the same standard. Just do it, it's no big deal.
Pick up the shirt by the (unpressed) collar, and spread one of the sleeves out on the ironing board. Note two things: one is that at this point you can take care of parts of the shoulders which you may not have been able to press if you used the square end of the board, as I do, rather than the tapered end. So don't forget those. The other thing is that you'll have creases on your sleeve, so use them to your advantage.
We were told, at Parris Island, to avoid using the same creases over and over. The reasoning was that they'd become permanent and the shirt would wear out more quickly. My experience is that shirts aren't immortal anyway, and that doing this just invites the multiple crease look, which you want to avoid. Believe me, once a crease is there, you cannot iron it out, no matter a drill instructor tells you. Get the sleeve as flat as you can, and, as with the larger parts of the shirt, use water and sizing to your taste. Then do the other sleeve.
Another thing we were taught was to press both sides of the sleeve. I never do this, again because my experience is that it doesn't do much of anything for you, and by the time you've driven to work, the sleeves are no longer perfect anyway. If you want to do it, go ahead. Just know that I can press seven or eight shirts in an hour, to what amounts to the Marine Corps inspection standard, while getting other things done -- and I meet colleagues and clients every day in these shirts.
Be sure, with sleeves, to press the plackets and the cuffs, and to press around the buttons. This is actually one reason to launder and press your own shirts: a dry cleaner won't avoid the buttons (they press by machine), and modern buttons won't last long under such punishment. Do you like to sew on new buttons? Neither do I. Do you like discarding shirts because of broken or missing buttons? Neither do I.
I'll not ask whether you're willing to wear shirts with broken or missing buttons....
Place the neck flat on the ironing board, with the back facing up. Press it, steam it and size it, and turn it over. If this side looks good, reach for a hangar: you're finished. If you want to touch up the front of the collar a little bit, go for it. We always did in the Marines, but it's usually not necessary. Worth a look, though.
Random notes: 1. I rarely wear collar stays, but I have done so (especially in uniform), and I see the point. If they improve the appearance of your collars when you wear a tie, then by all means wear them. 2. I agree with Stanley Agar that you should bathe or shower every day, if for no other reason than your shirts will last longer. Again, just do it. In general, shirts should be laundered hot, and I toss in some borax and vinegar as well with each load of laundry. 3. For appearance and for adding to the life of your shirts, for god's sake wear a t-shirt underneath. 4. Speaking of caring for your shirts, those tags are put there for a reason. Would it kill you to read them, and find out what the vendor recommends about caring for your shirt? 5. If you're worried about a starched collar irritating your neck, then you have options: use less starch (or none), and shave with a safety razor. You should be doing the latter anyway.
So that's it. You don't need sergeant's chevrons or a horseshoe, like this one or this one, and you needn't stand at attention all the time -- but then why are you slouching, anyway? But the basic Marine approach to pressing your shirts can both simplify and improve the quality of your life, and that's the only reason for doing it. Your mom and the drill instructors at Parris Island would agree.
Just don't let 'em send you to Beirut.
