The Anger of Compassion

How Does James Bond Shave?

About a year ago, I had some fun with this, and kept notes. The question "What would Roark do?" is well known to Ayn Rand fans. But as an exercise for fans of Ayn Rand's fiction, as well as fiction she was known to like, I wrote up my notes on "How Would Howard Roark Shave?"

Francisco d'Anconia and Midas Mulligan -- Generally, with a Gillette Aristocrat. Gold-plated. Hey, they're rich. But they also have and use another device, as described below.

Howard Roark -- Learned with a straight razor, of course (remember, the first scene of The Fountainhead takes place as the Class of 1922 is about to graduate). During his New York days, Roark uses a Schick E-type Injector, the one with the Bakelite handle and the brass, Art Deco head. He likes that Art Deco head. It reminds him of his buildings, and of Henry Cameron's.

Henry Cameron -- Please. Henry Cameron has a full, black beard. Go back and read The Fountainhead.

Comrade Sonia-- Has given up all shaving because she is sacrificing all such bourgeous comforts to The Revolution.

Peter Keating -- Never has had the confidence to shave comfortably with a straight. Whenever possible, he is shaved by a barber, and he leaves extravagant tips. At home, when he must shave himself, he uses a Schick Injector just like the one he once spied in Howard Roark's room in the early 1930s. However, he feels that Injector blades are too sharp: they always seem to be asking him to make a decision. He often cuts himself.

Lois Cook -- Doesn't shave at all, because she is not bound by any rigid rules of society or probity. Or something like that. That. That. Sat. Cat.

Gail Wynand -- Uses a barber from the barbershop he set up for New York Banner employees years ago. The barber -- almost always the same one -- comes to Wynand's office. They rarely speak, but Wynand knows the man's name. And his wife's name, He tips well.

Ellsworth Toohey -- Uses the same Banner barbershop, which he is trying to unionize.

Steven Mallory -- With the frugality, efficiency, and confidence of a true artist, Mallory uses a straight razor, which he hones and strops himself.

Nat Taggart -- Learned, of course, with a straight. After the success of Taggart Transcontinental he always had his own barber.

Hugh Akston, Judge Narragansett, Richard Halley, Dr. Hendriks -- Straights. That's how they learned, and that's what they prefer. It must also be said, however, that as the Strike progresses, it's getting tougher and tougher to find decent safety razors and blades at any price anyway, so more and more men are turning to straight razors. But by then, quality straights are harder to find as well.

Henry Rearden -- Gillette Super Speed. He appreciates the design, the head geometry, and the engineering. Eddie Willers uses the same razor.

James Taggart -- Patronizes the barbershop in his luxury apartment building. He has never bothered to learn his barber's name. He often forgets to leave a tip.

Orren Boyle -- Loves walking into the barbershop he established for Associated Steel senior executives, to show he is "just one of the guys." The shop is subsidized by a government program.

Mike Hammer and Matt Helm -- Learned on straights. Were issued Gillette one-pieces during the war, and kept the habit, using Gillette Super Speeds from 1948 to this day.

Ragnar Dannekjold -- Nobody knows what he uses at sea.

Wesley Mouch -- Uses an electric. Beardless punk.

James Bond -- When traveling, Bond carries a Gillette Adjustable (you can see it in the Goldfinger movie). Generally, though, Bond shaves with a cheap, Russian military issue straight razor which was once used on him by a SMERSH agent. Bond's face was the last thing he ever saw on this earth. When in London, he is often shaved at Taylor's of Grosvenor Street. The barbers at Blades, M's club, often shave him, as a courtesy to M. Taylor's and Blades are happy to hone his Russian razor for him, though they do urge him to replace it with a "finer instrument."

Admiral Sir Miles Messervy (M) -- Admiral Sir Miles is shaved at Blades every day, either at lunchtime or before cards after dinner. He has read the assessment of the Service's medical and psychiatric professionals regarding Bond's Russian straight -- they do not like it -- and keeps it in the bottom drawer of his desk. M has read it once, and has yet to initial it. No one else has seen it.

John Galt -- In New York, Galt must be frugal, and therefore shaves with a straight razor he hones and strops himself. Or a Gillette Adjustable, kept to the lower settings. He's blond, after all, and he doesn't need an aggressive razor.

In the Valley, however...

Galt shaves with an electric, adjustable straight razor which never needs honing or stropping and is stamped "1 of 3." The device was invented by Quentin Daniels, with funding provided by Midas Mulligan and Francisco d'Anconia, and it never leaves the Valley. Francisco's own razor, for example, is stamped "2 of 3," but he is a very prominent public figure and cannot afford to have such a device seen in his possession.

Daniels uses his own invention, which is stamped "ORIGIN." Mulligan has one as well, which bears the stamp "I KNOW WHAT TO TOUCH" -- appropriate, on a straight razor. He uses it in rotation with his gold-plated Gillette Aristocrat.

Ragnar Danneskjold has also been presented with a Daniels Straight, stamped "3 of 3." To date, it sits waiting in Galt's Gulch. It has never been used.

Daniels is holding one other such device: for Henry Rearden, on such day as he joins the Strike. It is stamped "THE GIFT."

All such blades are made of Rearden Metal, which is why they never need sharpening, and were fabricated by Daniels and Francisco.

Dagny Taggart -- Guys, please, remember Dagny's "showgirl legs." You will then no longer need to wonder why the Rio Norte Line terminated at El Paso, Texas. Nor will you wonder who shaves her legs. But then, a gentlemen never tells. :-)

Posted by Craig Ceely at July 21, 2007 05:58 PM