The Anger of Compassion

Giuliani Pledges to Repeal Gravity if Elected

Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani has released what he calls his 12 commitments to the American people ":

I will keep America on offense in the Terrorists' War on Us.

I will end illegal immigration, secure our borders, and identify every non-citizen in our nation.

I will restore fiscal discipline and cut wasteful Washington spending.

I will cut taxes and reform the tax code.

I will impose accountability on Washington.

I will lead America towards energy independence.

I will give Americans more control over, and access to, healthcare with affordable and portable free-market solutions.

I will increase adoptions, decrease abortions, and protect the quality of life for our children.

I will reform the legal system and appoint strict constructionist judges.

I will ensure that every community in America is prepared for terrorist attacks and natural disasters.

I will provide access to a quality education to every child in America by giving real school choice to parents.

I will expand America's involvement in the global economy and strengthen our reputation around the world

A spokesman for the Giuliani campaign was also quoted as saying thati in President Giuliani's first one hundred days in office his administration will end obesity and nearsightedness, "those two scourges of modern American life," and would work to repeal the law of supply and demand.