Hank Stuever applies a bit of the smack in his aptly-titled Washington Post piece, "Brad Pitt, Forcing Us To Volunteer:"
Brad Pitt! What does he want from us? Save Africa, save New Orleans, save the planet -- but we're not like you, Brad, not as able, so show us. (Show us, but keep in mind our budget.)
Soon he and Angelina Jolie won't even live on Earth, they'll just dangle above it, in a nursery-equipped Gulfstream IV, sort of the way Brandon Routh's Superman prefers to just float, in the stratosphere, listening acutely, compassionately, for trouble down there, and when he hears it, zoom , down he goes. We were always told that this is what the citizens of the future would do: They would have no fixed address. They would go where needed, constantly, selflessly.
He showed up in New Orleans last week with some starchitects, talking about green apartment buildings that take river water and run it through turbines for cheap, clean power -- he went on, but honestly we've already forgotten. It turns out that while he was in Africa all that time, inseminating Angelina and divorcing Jennifer Aniston and not appearing in any movies, there was a hurricane in New Orleans and -- nobody knows this, but Brad says there is still unrepaired damage and woe, and something must be done, something like a two-part interview on the "Today" show. (The second part aired yesterday morning.)
Soon Brad or Angie will begin showing up and just laying on hands. He'll spit in the dirt and make clay and rub it on the eyes of the blind. People will clamor just to touch the frayed hem of his cargo pants. As if they already don't.