The Anger of Compassion

Tucker Carlson: Gay or Democrat?

Quick: what was the name of Barbra Streisand's fourth album?

If you can answer that question, or so we're told, then you know what you are. And it's time you came out of the closet.* **

Barbra Streisand, of course, is known for being popular among gays and for being a generous donor to many liberal causes and politicians.

I wonder if Tucker Carlson, boy conservative, can answer that question, though...after all, he seems to have higher regard for Ms Streisand than for a former Playmate:

Here‘s a believe it or not story. Talented foreigners around the world are flashing their skills to get into this country, of course. But very few have the assets of Argentine bombshell Dorismar. The former “Playboy” playmate was rounded up by immigration authorities and deported with her husband on January 5 after living illegally in Miami for five years.

Now her attorney is trying to get the calendar pinup back into this country by classifying her as, quote, “an alien of extraordinary ability.”

Tucker Carlson was joined by Dorismar‘s attorney, Michael Feldenkrais, to discuss this quest for special immigration status.

FELDENKRAIS: In reality it‘s not a matter of her having a cute butt and somebody having a bad butt. But the reality is there is a classification for people who have risen to the level where she has in the scenario of...
CARLSON: Risen to the level. She stars in “Latinas gone Crazy.” Now, no offense. I haven‘t actually seen the video. But I mean, it‘s not like—I mean, she‘s not Barbra Streisand. You know what I mean? “Latinas Gone Crazy.” Do we need more “Latinas Gone Crazy” actresses in this nation, truly?

Not to brag, but this is no problem at all. Attorney Feldenkrais would like Dorismar and her husband to be able to re-enter the US, while apparently there are sinister forces among the feds who are happy deporting them both to Argentina. Insoluble, right? This is all in a day's work for the Anger of Compassion full-time staff:

1. Rescind the deportation order. Nobody's going to Argentina.

2. Grant Dorismar immediate United States citizenship.

3. Her next project: "Latinas Gone Crazy at the Kennedy Center."

4. Deport the husband to Cuba.

5. Tucker Carlson's next gig: playing the Conservative Commentator character for the Village People.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Something in my little proposal for everyone, don't you think? Playmate video available, too, at the story.

*It was Color Me Barbra.

** I had to look it up.

Posted by Craig Ceely at January 30, 2006 01:59 PM