Years ago I coined the term "elvet" to describe modern kitschy popular paintings. Uh, painted by starving artists, of course. Ingeniously, my term combines subject (of which Elvis is one of the most popular) and media (paint on velvet). Of course I received no credit or even notice from the art conspiracy cognoscenti; hell, I can't even get recognized as a culture blogger, in spite of my sensitive music criticism.
But a certain Alexandra has used her soapbox atop culture-blogging Mount Olympus -- and a fine soapbox it is, to be sure -- to decry the state of America's culture because an original dogs playing poker painting has sold for quite a bit more than a few pence. She muses that this reflects on all of us as a culture. Apparently this is A Bad Thing.
Perhaps what concerns her is that she fears the creation of The Ultimate Elvet, even as we sit here in front of our computer screens. And just what is it she fears? What, you enquire, is The Ultimate Elvet?
I thought you'd never ask. Never presented before, another Anger of Compassion attempt at culture-blogger recognition, I present to you the minimally required visual contents of The Ultimate Elvet:
1. Dogs playing poker, of course
2. in a truck stop in Tennessee
3. Elvis and Jesus, together, sharing a fart joke
4. an 18-wheeler, parked just outside, sporting a Confederate flag
5. everyone shown is wearing jeans and cowboy boots, and sports at least one tattoo
6. even Jesus
7. the non-dogs are wearng mullets and baseball caps
8. even Jesus
9. each figure shown carries a Bible with George Bush's picture on the cover
10. even Jesus
It must be admitted that I share Alexandra's frustrations at the state of American culture: if those with money are willing to spend it on Dogs Playing Poker, even to the tune of over half a million bucks, then representational art is truly held in low regard these days, and that's a fact. But why take it out on dogs, and on beer drinkers?
Posted by Craig Ceely at February 20, 2005 12:42 PM