I've admired Woody Allen's prose ever since reading Getting Even as a teenager. You can't argue with a line like "She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak."
So when Radley Balko posted his assertion that "Woody Allen still has a little in the tank," I was eager to go for a read. I wasn't disappointed:
And so I approached Miss Kelly's gravitational field and could feel my strings vibrating. All I knew was that I wanted to wrap my weak-gauge bosons around her gluons, slip through a wormhole, and do some quantum tunnelling.
It was at this point that I was rendered impotent by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. How could I act if I couldn't determine her exact position and velocity? And what if I should suddenly cause a singularity; that is, a devastating rupture in space-time? They're so noisy. Everyone would look up and I'd be embarrassed in front of Miss Kelly. Ah, but the woman has such good dark energy. Dark energy, though hypothetical, has always been a turn-on for me, especially in a female who has an overbite.
Hmmm....seems that Allen returns to cetain themes again and again. We all do.
Posted by Craig Ceely at January 18, 2004 08:55 AM