El Paso, Texas--An El Paso man has largely confined himself to his West Side home since Friday evening, demanding the return of blogger Stephen Green, known as VodkaPundit. The man says he will not mix or consume a martini until Mr. Green resumes regular posting. Additionally, he says that in desperation he has created his own blog.
Local law enforcement officials would not speculate on the existence of firearms inside the former Marine's house, but did say that the home was known to contain at least two Macintosh computers as well as internet and blogging software. Apple board member Albert S. Gore, Jr issued the following statement to the press: "This is a travesty. I invented the damn internet, and this is a perversion of everything the internet stands for. The internet stands for freedom. He shouldn't be allowed to get away with this."
Janet Reno, former Attorney General and scourge of breakaway Seventh-Day Adventists and small Cuban boys, said that in cases like this she would not hesitate sending in the FBI's Hostage Rescue Team "for the children." The man's only son, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that he hadn't seen his father drink a martini all week, and confirmed that a blog was in fact being created no later than Friday evening. Morals guru William Bennett quipped, "Bet you this is all over by Sunday evening." From his Brooklyn apartment, New York Times fiction writer Jayson Blair filed a story, datelined El Paso, of his interview with the Dalai Lama, whom he quoted as saying, "Blogs are the cause of all human suffering. A martini, now, that's a different matter."
Stephen Green could not be reached for comment.
bwahahahahahaha... best laugh all day!
Posted by: Plunge at June 19, 2003 03:45 PM